How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
