she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
