but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I want her autograph on my taint
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
