"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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