i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
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