Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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