it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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