The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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