Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
