I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
