Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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