Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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