my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
