At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
That's intense
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Randomize
