wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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