I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
As shirtless as possible
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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