i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
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