Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
