He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
