And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize