Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
