you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
