He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
