All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
