This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
