If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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