I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
