id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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