Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
