Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
i out mim tonsoeep
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