it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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