do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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