Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I would fuck him just for his dog
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
