so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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