It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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