i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize