I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
This show inspires me to have sex in space
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
