We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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