I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
