Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
