he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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