Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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