why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
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