Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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