hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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