whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
