i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
