someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
