I only kidnapped one of them. chill
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize
