haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Randomize
