I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
