she looked like the bat from fern gully.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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