there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
