The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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