I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
