She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
