can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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