ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
i believe in u and ur pee
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
