i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study