Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
