The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
