I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
