Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
