I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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