tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
