So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
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