Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the night ended with taco bell and tears
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize